Afternoon Pages

“No Vulnerability, No Learning”

I think the most comfortable space I have ever felt willing to put myself in that vulnerable place was a dance class I took last year. Dancing in front of people you don’t know, especially people who you assume are better than you, can make anyone put up that wall of shame in order to protect themselves. Gia, the women leading the class made sure to get that looming feeling of shame out of the room before we even began dancing. Their is this weight when shame takes over anyone and the more you let it overwhelm you the more it overwhelms the experience. She said right out of the gate to make a conscious effort to not let that feeling attack any of the motions in the dance we were learning. To cheer on the other women alongside you, to compliment something you like and let that girl know how killer she is doing. By the end of the class the pressure was turned into energy and the class was hollering for everything that the group dancing did. It pushed myself to try weird creations that I would have never tired elsewhere. It made me feel at ease, that making a mistake was merely a mistake, it was not going to ruin anything, rather it was something I could take into my next experience as what not to do. It helped me to see that everyone struggled somewhere, that even the girls I admirred had flaws that should be celebrated.

This feeling of being vulnerability is carried through my badge as well. Being an advocate is all about putting yourself out there so someone else can admire what you are doing even if it seems silly in the moment.